Recently, a relative posted an issue about a child at school in regards to the bathroom. The point was valid; however, it ended with “I’ll deal with the teacher” with “💯” after the statement. This ending statement created anger and a dialogue in my own head. I had to think about the amount of times I’ve heard or read this statement. It is too many to count. Why is the statement, “I’ll deal with the teacher?” Should the statement not be “I’ll have a conversation with the teacher?”
Why are we no longer having conversations with teachers, but “dealing” with them?
By saying and posting on social media that you will “deal” with the teacher, the parents and society as a whole are refusing to have a conversation. They look at us as enemies. How did we come to this?
In recent years, I have read many blogposts with a title along the lines of “teacher and enemy.” Most equate it to the pandemic or something along that timeframe. However, it started LONG before that.
During college, I was lucky enough to participate in many experiences within education. I had to do a field experience, community service (in a school), and two student teachings. Of course, I didn’t not see and experience everything, but I did observe quite a bit. Throughout all of these, I viewed the teacher being supported by administration and parents. Perhaps I went into teaching (23 years ago) with rose colored glasses, but exiting college, I was provided with a first hand view of the reality.
Experiencing parents who would yell, demand, and belittle a teacher was more than just a little shocking. I was unable to understand the how or why behind any of this. Why would the parents just not have a conversation? This is the “I’ll deal with the teacher” part. Are all parents like this? The answer is absolutely NO. A majority of parents I have worked with over the years have views teachers as partners. We have worked together to converse about their child a creat a plan moving forward. It has been a team effort. However, it seems that the parent receiving the most attention are the ones that “deal” with the teacher. When going in to “deal” with a teacher, think first about what your goal is. Having a goal will help facilitate this partnership and, perhaps, help calm the mind to create a conversation.
Converse with the teacher. Not “deal” with them.
Teachers will be and are open, but feeling attacked, will put up everyone’s defenses.
An article in Parents outlines several suggestions for parents to have conversations with their child’s teacher. I found the suggestions in “The Smart Way to Talk to Teachers” easy to follow and wonderful points that often parents traditionally have difficulty conveying.
We are NOT your enemy!
Another article out of Australia presents guidance for parents with strategies that are effective. The article is in Raising Children and will benefit both sides. Parents and teachers need to learn to create a partnership and converse.
Teachers are in this to provide a quality, equal education for all. We genuinely have the best interests of the student in mind. Are there exceptions to this? Of course. But, aren’t there exceptions in every field? Why malign and attack all as the enemy that needs to be “dealt” with rather than “deal” with those exceptions?
Just as students and parents have rights, teachers do as well. The right to be treated fairly and as a professional.